Is It Wrong?

What do you do if you like someone..

and you think they like you...

but you find out they have a thing with your bestfriend?

Whenever you see them it's because they're with you instead of your friend. They never talk about your friend all they do is talk to you

See what you're doing, constantly making you laugh and flirting the whole time.

You've been looking for this happiness for so long that you don't want to take it for granted.




....But Is It Wrong?

Almost Lover

Do you remember?
Do you remember the first time we went on a "date"?
We saw Source Code, on a Saturday night with Cassi and her boyfriend Nick.
I remember that it was a Saturday night, because I remember my mom dropped me off, but Cassi had to take me home so that my Dad wouldn't see. The first time I ever really did something sneaky, the first time I really lied about what exactly I was doing, or who I was with.
I lost a little bit of that perfect girl that I was so comfortable with...
But I was willing to do it, because I liked you that much.
You made my heart race.
Gave me those little butterflies in my stomach.
Gave me that good little nervous feeling.
Everything about you, drew me in.

How you looked,
How you acted,
Your smile,
How you would slouch in your chair in the back of the classroom because you didn't know who to talk to,
The way you would give a little uncomfortable laugh when someone would try to talk to you, or ask you a question, because you were the new kid, who didn't know anyone,

But most of all,
I loved the way you made me feel.

How I could lose myself in you,
How when I was with you,
My worries seemed to go away.

I remember how I was so nervous but excited for that movie.

My first real date,
I remember how I had to do my hair perfectly,
Make sure my makeup was just right,
How I even went and got a new outfit,
So I could look my best.

I remember how I got there before you, and I was waiting for you to show up, sitting on that bench in Cinemark near the front doors, next to Cassi.

I remember how I saw you get out of your car, that red Suburban.
And how my heart was pounding out of my chest.

I remember how I just watched you come in,
I couldn't move,
Or even really talk.

And how all I could do,
was Laugh.

Yes I just put my head in my hands and laughed...

I remember that day like none other.
I remember how when you left I was sad,
I wished it could have gone on forever.
You walked out, and I let out a big breath,
Almost like I had been holding it in the whole time,
Because I was just so taken aback by you.

And then you walked back in,
And I was so happy, but confused.
You told me, with red cheeks,
that your mother wanted to meet me.
Jenifer.

I remember how I was so scared,
Scared that I would say the wrong thing, and that she wouldn't like me.
But I would do anything for you.
If you told me to fly, I would try. Even though I know it would be impossible.

Meeting your mom was the first step...
The first step,
in the best run of my life.

The run of my life,
That I had with you.

As time progressed, so did our relationship.
From going to the movies again,
To going to the movies alone,
To Holding Hands,
To Holding me in your arms,
To inviting me to your house,
To Kissing.

And then,
As high school came,
Our run was finished.

The day when you broke up with me,
The first week of high school.

When you got too tired from the run,
When it was no longer interesting to you.

And for me, it came so suddenly,
I fell.
I fell hard.

C.L.M
I grew so close to you,
You were my BEST FRIEND.
The one that I could tell anything.

I miss you,
and I can honestly say.

That it took me only one day,
for me to fall completely and inevitably in love with you.
</3

M.J.C.

Well I guess it's true,
One door closes and another opens.
:)

Help?

"I want to say I deserve better and mean it.

I want to say I give up and believe it.

I want to say Im moving on and do it."

Goodbye.

Sometimes people don't know what they have until it's gone.. But I did... Or I thought I did. I thought I had it all... That life was just finally looking up, and then you left me.

No explanation other than "I'm not ready, I don't really want to be committed to one person." 

I guess I just wasn't enough... I guess I couldn't make you happy enough.

To me what we had was real... You were my Best Friend. I could tell you anything, you were my escape. You made me happy... Even when no one else could. Your texts that said "Good Morning" made my whole day. Just waking up and knowing that you were thinking of me. I miss that...

I miss you.

I miss knowing that you were mine... That you had the same feelings about me that I had about you. You were so real with me, I knew you better than anyone.

You finally opened up to me, you let me know what you were feeling... 

What happened to that? What happened to us...

You said we could still talk, and that I was one of your best friends... But you don't talk to me anymore... At least not in the same way that you used to. I honestly don't know why this all happened, but it hurts... It hurts a lot. 

And even though you hurt me,

All I can say is that I love you bud, I hope you're happy and successful...

People say I should hate you, that I should get back at you, but I can't... 

And I hope you know that....

I will always remember you.

I hope you remember me too. 

I can do this.

High School is gonna' be tough...

No Doubt.

Two tenth grade classes, and two pre ap classes...

I'm gonna' have to work for those good grades.

But I'm gonna' do it.

I can do this.

:)

Far Away

I will be starting High School in just a little over a week...

It's freaking scary.

At least for me it is...

I have those common fears;

Being late to class

Not being able to find my classes

Having mean teachers

Getting bad grades

Feeling out of place

Not fitting in

Being judged

Not having cute enough clothes (it's hard to keep up with the "styles..." especially while trying to maintain modesty as a mormon.. yes... a mormon)

Acne (gross)

Being teased

But out of all those things, the thing that scares me the most is...

Losing You.

People said they'd give us three weeks.... maybe a month.... haha did we show them or what? It's been much longer than that... :) 

But the thing is... we only have one class together this year... and it's apparently with the worst teacher in the school.

Just our luck. 

Can we make it through? How do you feel about me? Is this just a thing to pass your time? Please spare me if it is... 

I never wanted this at this age, I didn't wanna "love" any "stupid" boy... I mean cmon' boys have cooties... Gross. 

But somehow you caught me... I mean I still don't get it...

You're the quiet shy guy.... I'm loud and very social. 

You're the nerdy guy that always knows all of the answers... Sometimes I forget my times tables... (haha)

You're super athletic... I play sports for fun.

(Oh and not too mention, you annoy the crap out of me sometimes...)

I mean were pretty much complete OPPOSITES.

I guess it's true... Opposites attract?

If I could just have one thing in common with you it would be this...

That we both care about eachother... I have your back... You're my best friend.

Oh and I have a question... Why is it so hard to choke out the word "I love you" ? I can easily say them to my friends... guy friends too... but not you! 

Fear of rejection? I don't know...

But...

"I love you, I have loved you all along
And I forgive you for being away for far too long
So keep breathing cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it, hold on to me, never let me go."