M.J.C.

Well I guess it's true,
One door closes and another opens.
:)

Help?

"I want to say I deserve better and mean it.

I want to say I give up and believe it.

I want to say Im moving on and do it."

Goodbye.

Sometimes people don't know what they have until it's gone.. But I did... Or I thought I did. I thought I had it all... That life was just finally looking up, and then you left me.

No explanation other than "I'm not ready, I don't really want to be committed to one person." 

I guess I just wasn't enough... I guess I couldn't make you happy enough.

To me what we had was real... You were my Best Friend. I could tell you anything, you were my escape. You made me happy... Even when no one else could. Your texts that said "Good Morning" made my whole day. Just waking up and knowing that you were thinking of me. I miss that...

I miss you.

I miss knowing that you were mine... That you had the same feelings about me that I had about you. You were so real with me, I knew you better than anyone.

You finally opened up to me, you let me know what you were feeling... 

What happened to that? What happened to us...

You said we could still talk, and that I was one of your best friends... But you don't talk to me anymore... At least not in the same way that you used to. I honestly don't know why this all happened, but it hurts... It hurts a lot. 

And even though you hurt me,

All I can say is that I love you bud, I hope you're happy and successful...

People say I should hate you, that I should get back at you, but I can't... 

And I hope you know that....

I will always remember you.

I hope you remember me too. 

I can do this.

High School is gonna' be tough...

No Doubt.

Two tenth grade classes, and two pre ap classes...

I'm gonna' have to work for those good grades.

But I'm gonna' do it.

I can do this.

:)

Far Away

I will be starting High School in just a little over a week...

It's freaking scary.

At least for me it is...

I have those common fears;

Being late to class

Not being able to find my classes

Having mean teachers

Getting bad grades

Feeling out of place

Not fitting in

Being judged

Not having cute enough clothes (it's hard to keep up with the "styles..." especially while trying to maintain modesty as a mormon.. yes... a mormon)

Acne (gross)

Being teased

But out of all those things, the thing that scares me the most is...

Losing You.

People said they'd give us three weeks.... maybe a month.... haha did we show them or what? It's been much longer than that... :) 

But the thing is... we only have one class together this year... and it's apparently with the worst teacher in the school.

Just our luck. 

Can we make it through? How do you feel about me? Is this just a thing to pass your time? Please spare me if it is... 

I never wanted this at this age, I didn't wanna "love" any "stupid" boy... I mean cmon' boys have cooties... Gross. 

But somehow you caught me... I mean I still don't get it...

You're the quiet shy guy.... I'm loud and very social. 

You're the nerdy guy that always knows all of the answers... Sometimes I forget my times tables... (haha)

You're super athletic... I play sports for fun.

(Oh and not too mention, you annoy the crap out of me sometimes...)

I mean were pretty much complete OPPOSITES.

I guess it's true... Opposites attract?

If I could just have one thing in common with you it would be this...

That we both care about eachother... I have your back... You're my best friend.

Oh and I have a question... Why is it so hard to choke out the word "I love you" ? I can easily say them to my friends... guy friends too... but not you! 

Fear of rejection? I don't know...

But...

"I love you, I have loved you all along
And I forgive you for being away for far too long
So keep breathing cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it, hold on to me, never let me go."

Say It Again

To Shelby from Kim: You have such an amazing personality... You have a fire, people just need to get to know you, see that you shine. I know that sometimes you feel that through all of your efforts to communicate and connect with people are a waste, but they aren't, only a loss to those who don't accept it. That one guy... That you fell hard for, well he wasn't worth it. I swear you'll know when you have found the right guy. He will treat you like a queen... He will realize what you are worth. Don't ever lower your standards, don't compromise for anyone. Because you are worth more than any riches that the world has to offer, don't forget that. Don't worry, someday that one will come along, and you will realize why it never worked with anyone else. :)

<3

To kim; I wrote this in your point of view. From Shelby
          I've never been able to go even a day without thinking about you. Everything i do reminds me of you. and now that your not here its every minute that i think about you. I miss you and I wish you where here. I want to see your beautiful  bule eyes that make it hard to breath. I want you and not your amor. What are you fighting? I won't fight my heart. I've allready seen you, unarmed and just you. Please dont change or fall in love with some other girl, I love you because your you and nothing eles could be so perfect to me. Ill see you soon <3

You don't know what you got, till' it's gone...

R.I.P. my little Lilly.
I loved you oh so much, I wish you were here with me still.
You were so silly, and you made me laugh everyday.
I wish I could have seen you...
Held you one last time, told you I loved you.
You were one of my best friends.
I will never forget you,
you were just as much a member of my family as any person.
Have fun playing in heaven,
I'll see you again.


<3

Everything is gonna' be Alright.

I used to be one of those girls with a very low self esteem...
Who would look in the mirror and only see the imperfections.
When someone would say "You're pretty!" I was one of those girls who would reply with "No I'm not, you are though!" Instead of just saying "Thank You, you too:)"
WELL,
I've moved past that.
You wanna' know why?
Because girls, you are all beautiful in your own way.
Inside,
AND
Out.
Don't ever forget that, don't ever let anyone tell you differently.

And find that one guy,
Who's different,
The one that makes you feel beautiful,
The one who loves you even with your flaws...
The one who loves your flaws.
Someone you can be 100% you with,
Who you trust with anything.

The one who saw you, even when you were "invisible."

He may not be the most popular,
He may not be the "hottest,"
He may not be the one who's the best at everything,
He may be weird,
He may be annoying sometimes,

He's probably a dork.

But all of that is what will make you love him.

"If you're asking if I need you.
The answer is forever.
If you're asking if I'll leave you...
The answer is never.
If you're asking what I value...
The answer is you.
If you're asking if I love you...
The answer is I do."

I'm Here.

When everyone else is gone, and you feel like you are drowning,
I'm Here.

You are a freak,
You are silly,
You are sometimes over dramatic,
You get irritated sometimes,

But so do I.

Everyone has flaws, but look.

You are also,


Kind,
Loving,
Beautiful,
Compassionate,
Amazing,
Intelligent,

And not to mention...

My best friend.

So when you feel alone,

Just know...

You jump, I jump.

<3

Hello

I was eating at Red Robin,
and I saw a bus boy,
Now you may be thinking several things like...

Why is this significant?
Ew being a bus boy doesn't sound fun...
Why on earth is she talking about eating at Red Robin? No one cares...

Well let me just get to my point....
Being a bus boy really doesn't sound fun, it sounds crappy, you go around clearing tables and dealing with people who can be rude all day.

I'm sure I would get impatient, and get a bad attitude towards it all... Most people would.

But this guy, he caught my attention for one reason.

He was smiling every time I saw him.

He looked genuinely happy,
He had that smile that stretched from ear to ear.

And I'm serious.

Every time I saw him, he was smiling, never a frown, no complaining, 

He was happy,

He was enjoying life, or at least pretending.

"fake it till' you make it."

I liked his attitude.

So wear a smile every day, try and do it as often as possible,

Because...

You never know who is going to notice it...

Who knows? Someone may be falling for that smile.

:)

Mean

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTfbh3aeo9s

Someday I'll be living in a big ole' city...

But all your ever gonna' be is mean.

This is so true, I often times find that Taylor Swift is the narrator for my life.

Every song that she has is relatable, her songs aren't just about the sins of the world, the popular topics.


They are good, cute, real.

I love them.

:)

Just remember....

Someday I'll be living in a big ole' city...
I'll be big enough so you can't hit me.

All you're ever gonna' be is...

Mean.

Sparks Fly

I feel like a kid on Christmas Eve again...
So excited,
Can't sleep,
Wake up at a ridiculously early hour,
Waiting for the one occasion...

This occasion is different,
But I am so excited.

I can't explain it.

You have the ability to make me so sad,
or happy...

Your smile,
Your laugh,
Your personality,
Your nerdyness,
Your competitive side,
Your shy side,

You.
Everything.
I love it,
Don't ever change....

And most importantly,

Never leave me...

C.L.M.

I still remember this moment
In the back of my mind
The time we stood with our shaking hands
The crowds in stands went wild

We were the kings and the queens
And they read off our names
The night you danced like you knew our lives
Would never be the same

You held your head like a hero
On a history book page
It was the end of a decade
But the start of an age

Long live the walls we crashed through
While the kingdom lights shined just for me and you
I was screaming, long live all the magic we made
And bring on all the pretenders, one day we will be remembered

I said, remember this feeling
I passed the pictures around
Of all the years that we stood there on the sidelines
Wishing for right now

We are the kings and the queens
You traded your baseball cap for a crown
When they gave us our trophies
And we held them up for our town

And the cynics were outraged
Screaming, this is absurd
'Cause for a moment a band of thieves
In ripped-up jeans got to rule the world

Long live the walls we crashed through
While the kingdom lights shined just for me and you
I was screaming, long live all the magic we made
[. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/t/taylor-swift-lyrics/long-live-lyrics.html .]
And bring on all the pretenders, I'm not afraid

Long live all the mountains we moved
I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you
I was screaming, long live the look on your face
And bring on all the pretenders, one day we will be remembered

Hold on to spinning around
Confetti falls to the ground
May these memories break or fall

And you take a moment
Promise me this
That you'll stand by me forever
But if God forbid fate should step in

And force us into a goodbye
If you have children someday
When they point to the pictures
Please tell them my name

Tell them how the crowds went wild
Tell them how I hope they shine

Long live the walls we crashed through
I had the time of my life with you

Long, long live the walls we crashed through
All the kingdom lights shined just for me and you
And I was screaming, long live all the magic we made
And bring on all the pretenders, I'm not afraid

Singing, long live all the mountains we moved
I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you
And long, long live the look on your face
And bring on all the pretenders, one day we will be remembered


Long Live <3

Long Live

Juju,
I will never, EVER, forget that blog, that was INSPIRATIONAL, but heart-breaking... I do love him.... And I have the same fears as you did.... But I will take a chance, I already have in fact... Julia just remember two things....

You jump I jump.

What's meant to be will always find it's way.

<3 

Love,
Kimbers

I'm gone.

You know what?
I've never had your respect, your love.
I have gone all my life dealing with you, and all your rudeness.
I make mistakes, I AM HUMAN.
You don't need to chew me out, and make me feel worthless because of it though.

And to him?
Well you don't stick up for me,
You don't have your own opinion,
You will never do anything except for agree with her...
Even when she's hurting me in the process....

So guess what, I'm gone.

I hope you feel the pain,

See what I felt... Because if you do then maybe you will finally open your eyes....
Sort your priorities out.

Because guess what,
I'm done.
You've lost me.

What About Now

Shadows fill an empty heart
As love is fading,
From all the things that we are
But are not saying.
Can we see beyond the scars
And make it to the dawn?

Change the colors of the sky.
And open up to
The ways you made me feel alive,
The ways I loved you.
For all the things that never died,
To make it through the night,
Love will find you.

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it's too late,
What about now?

The sun is breaking in your eyes
To start a new day.
This broken heart can still survive
With a touch of your grace.
Shadows fade into the light.
I am by your side,
Where love will find you.

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love, it never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it's too late,
What about now?

Now that we're here,
Now that we've come this far,
Just hold on.
There is nothing to fear,
For I am right beside you.
For all my life,
I am yours.

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it's too late,
Baby, before it's too late,
Baby, before it's too late...

Thanks Ju, I'm loving this song...


Okay so I am only in 8th grade... And people say you obviously can't be in love in 8th grade... and maybe I'm not.... I don't know, because I don't exactly know what being in love is quite yet... But someday I will... And call me ridiculous, but I do know that this is AS CLOSE as I have been to "in love." Just because I am young and naive doesn't mean I don't have the same feelings as anyone else. Too bad I am too scared to tell him how I feel... People tell me to go for it, what's the worst that could happen?


Well....

rejection
broken heart
loss
horrible feelings

That's what...

And I'm scared...

Not about telling him...

But about what he will say, or do.

I'm also scared that if I don't do anything... I will miss an opportunity.

I also hate how I don't feel in control of my feelings... I mean shouldn't I have control over myself?? But no I don't, and it's absurd.

Someday I will be enlightened about these things that confuse me though right?

Please?

Life

Well,
I think I have it hard now, I think I have too much homework, too much to do, and deal with...
HA.
I laugh at that, like seriously? cmon...
High school is going to be pure pain if I don't get used to it.
But at least I try in school...
People say I'm a goodytwoshoes?
Well... those are the ones who get far in life...
So bring it on.
People tease me for being mormon?
Well guess what IDC, because I have a structured life... I'm not going to be the one addicted to drugs in a few years, or pregnant.
I'm going to make it far because I surround myself with great people, and I will not give into pressures of the world...
I am going to have...

A good home

A family

A happy marriage

A job

Eternal Happiness?
Yep.

So call me little miss goodytwoshoes...

It'll pay off in the end.

<3

High School

I.
Am.
Scared.

Why?

Well one I'm going to have a HECK of a lot of homework...
I don't know if I am prepared for that...

I will be going to seminary... at SIX in the morning...
How am I supposed to do that AND get all my homework done WHILE trying to go to bed at a REASONABLE time??

Oh and did I mention that the thing that scares me most...

Is that I might lose you.

Lose contact, lose everything.

I don't know

I don't know what to say in this blog,

I am;

confused

frustrated

upset

...

What happened?

How could two people be so close,

and then all of a sudden... 

Failure.

How is that possible?

Could a relationship be purely based off of one occasion?

I don't know.

:/

Overboard

"It feels like we been out at sea... 

So back and forth that's how it seems...

And when I wanna' talk you say to me,

That if it's mean to be it will be.

So crazy is this thing we call love,

and now that we've got it we just can't give up.

I'm reaching out for you,

Got me out here in the water and I...

I'm overboard and I need your love,

Pull me up.

I can't swim on my own...

It's too much,

Feels like I'm drowning without your love...

So throw yourself out to me...

My Lifesaver."

<3 this song.

Memories

I'm going to fall in love,
Have my heart broken,
Find someone else...
Go to High School,
Meet new people...
Will you remember me?
What do I fear?

Rejection.

What do I want?
Friends,
Love,

Happiness.

I fear that I miss you,
But that you don't miss me.
That I know you,
But you don't know me.

Girls...
They fall hard for one guy...
Some girls,
Love every guy.
Think there the hottest thing around.
That every person just adores them.
Fallin' all over Mr.Popularity
But not me...
I like that one guy,
who's kinda' shy...
Not the most popular,
Not the best athlete,
Not as outgoing as all those other popular players he hangs out with,

But to me,
He's the best.
Nicest,
Cutest,
Smartest,
Funniest,
One of my Best Friends.

Am I in love?
I don't know... Because I don't just go "fall in love" with every guy that I see like those popular girls.
I don't just judge people by there "status" or how they look...
And I don't even necessarily want him to be my "boyfriend." Just my best friend.

But of all the thousands of places in the world...
How was I lucky enough to meet you?

Quotes

To My Haters:

"I keep it real and that's a promise.

I may be whatever you wanna call me, but I'm honest.

When I walk by you stop and stare.

Well, keep looking Cause I don't CARE.

I have my own life and style.

Not trying to please you or smile.

When it comes to competition, you're out.

So shut your hatin' self,

And keep me out of your mouth."

Take your time, don't live too fast... Troubles come and they will pass.

"Everything is okay in the end,
If it's not okay...
Then it's not the end."

"Laugh your heart out <3
Dance in the rain.

Cherish the moment,

Ignore the pain.

Live, Love, Laugh,

Forgive and Forget.

Life's too short to be

Livin' with regrets..."

:)

1-4-3

Do you frustrate the heck out of me? 

Yes.

Do I understand you?

I wish.

Do I love you?

Yes...

Were moving on... Together.

Look at yourself in the mirror,

You're beautiful,

She's jealous, 

Who wouldn't be?

You're so sweet, you just don't like hurting people,

Even when they constantly hurt you.

But it's time to move on...

Were leaving what happened in the past with her behind...

Find people who text you in the morning telling you your beautiful,

Find people who will come over no matter what time of day, where you are, or what's going on,

Even if it's just that you had a fight with a friend...

Nothing is small or non-important too best friends...

Remember your best friend? 

And how she has that boy that always falls back on her when he has no where else to go?

How he tells her good things,

So that she will always stay with him...?

Well this girl that you and I have been putting up with is kinda like him...

She tells us good things every now and then so that we won't leave her,

But when she thinks she has something better than us,

She brings us down....

And we stay even through all of that because were nice, and we have gotten too used to her comments...

But were not going to be there anymore,

Catching her when she falls...

Because were moving on...

Together.

Dancing in the Rain

Love Life.

There are people who have it worse than you,

I know that there are things that are hard, for everyone...

But you need to learn to dance in the rain,

Instead of waiting for it to pass.

Everyday there are bad things that happen,

Now you can either let those things ruin your day...

Or you can look for good things that happened.

If you look, there is always good happening somewhere...

Be that good for someone else to see...

Live,

Laugh,

Love,

Smile,

Dance...

In the rain. 

<3

Love

Why do people give it away, like it's nothing...
Saying "I love you" isn't like saying "hi," save those words...
People go around saying that they are in love,
When really I doubt they even know what that truly means...
And then, when there little fling ends,
They cry to everyone, 
Well what did they expect?
So next time,
Don't just give your love away...
Like a penny in the rain.  

Best Friend

There are going to be those people who tear you down... 
Who constantly point out your every imperfection.
Telling you, you can't, you can't, no, no, your wrong.
But I am here to tell you that you are beautiful.
You will find those people who find your imperfections perfect...
Don't listen to anyone who says otherwise.
I see how much you care about everyone and everything,
My one friend who cares about the crickets in the basement, 
Making sure that they reach safety.
You would harm no one.
My caring, kind, and compassionate best friend.
Every time you gain excess stress or bad feelings because of her,
No not just her, anyone
Think about if it's worth your time.
Because there will always be some bad people out there...
But there will always be good ones too.
Who will love you,
Just the way you are. 

World

In the world lie those who give,
And those who take...
The ones that are strong,
And others that break...
Those who have everything,
Yet some left with none...
Those who complain,
While others have fun...
Open your eyes,
Can u NOT see?
Look in the mirror,
Give others the key...
How can u judge them,
When yet you walk imperfectly...
When will we learn to forgive AND forget?
When will this world be peaceful and kind?
Instead of a battlefield for men...
<3